A few weeks ago, I finally accepted and owned it. I’m relentless.
I’ve never been one to take ‘no’ for an answer as I work to problem-solve and figure out a way I can make progress nonetheless.
It’s been a lot like this with Joel’s adoption. In the beginning, many questioned why we’d want to add to our brood. They saw it as a hard process and so did we in some regards. Mostly because we didn’t have the finances to make it happen.
We knew it was going to take a relentless pursuit with only the grace that God gives to do work that is of faith. I liken this relentless pursuit as the God-given drive and determination to do God’s will. There’s really no other explanation for it.
I often feel anxiety growing in the pit of my stomach when I shift my focus on how I am going to make this adoption happen. It’s in those moments that I force myself to step back and recognize what I’ve been called to pursue: a deeper love for Jesus.
I find a renewed peace when I read and meditate on passages like 1 Corinthians 15: 10-11 (MSG), which says
“But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am. And I’m not about to let his grace go to waste. Haven’t I worked hard trying to do more than any of the others? Even then, my work didn’t amount to all that much. It was God giving me the work to do, God giving me the energy to do it. So whether you heard it from me or from those others, it’s all the same: We spoke God’s truth and you entrusted your lives.”
I have a reason to be relentless to do the work God is giving and sustaining me to do for Him: adoption. Most specifically, Joel.
We started this journey on January 22, 2010 when I filled out the preliminary application. On Monday, August 22, 2011, we will meet Joel for the first time. The pursuit still continues until we land safely at home with our whole family together for the first time.
There is still plenty of opportunity for God to shower His grace on this work. I have so many reasons to believe He will finish this work as He promises.
So, until then I’ll stay relentless. Unyielding, unrelenting, steady, and persistent until I can hold Joel in my arms forever.